Again, I have just realized that having too many thoughts in my mind are making me distract during the day , even I am sleeping and forcing me to go back and check my notes and reminders to be on track. Today is Saturday, fallen in a sleep on sofa, was remembering that Idl was walking and going up to nanny’s bed to continue her sleep, I stayed same. Woke up around 7:44 with alarm, would gave me to prepare 15mins for Tennis and approximately 1 hour to be in Narlife. Sent a message to Dogan just to inform him, and keep me locled with promises, otherwise, evil might convince me to sleep a bit more 🙂 Btw, I prepared coffe (Filter) and ruined surface with a powder of coffee from the previous one. My battery charged vacuum cleaner is working good or was just a mistake because of my anger to Dyson guy’s not proper behavior then bought Kacher. Endless judgement, and comparison till the Kacher reach it’s lif cycle end and choosing a brand new vacuum cleaner stage 🙂
Lets summarize the current status-environment; I am abit concerned, and now roll!
Eda is in Ankara, Erim had an surgery, just because of his pankreas, having cut the tumor and it’s extensions (metastases), I was aware of the size and complexity of the surgery, a 1 year ago, My Mother had same operation, RIP. She had too much pain, fear, hope issue. I am missing her like a hell. Yagmur was shared 5 videos, managed to get 4 of them and watch them. Saw all family, remember completely deleted memories (do not know, why we are not remembering them and losing in the dark corridor of our brain cells). Watch my father (babam) and my uncle (some of them are fom his last mile, Hayramca) and mother (Anam), they are all old, Babam and Anam are not old and are healthy, then I have check my mom and dad’s whats up messagings are remaining same but profile picture of Babam has been changed, there is lady (Covered) took the phone. number, obviously). We have send several messages not carefully handled messages (again), my mistake. Some of them are from post-divorce time frame. Anyhow, yesterday I have paid the bill of Idıl’s school tuition for her 4th grade together with Elif. Seems that she is getting some promotion, and it seems that informing this good news to me is still important. Psychologically, I am not an expert, she had some damage or she like many others put me as a reference in her career and she is trying to tell me but she was a bit stressed in case I would do some jokes about it. In reality, I am very happy for her, even if it is not meaningful something. Roles, career jumps and professional achievements are totally temporary things where you feel very bold way when you are in, then lose their impact and fade away even more faster than how it occurs, and noone remember what you have achieve, even worse, you did not remember. Only you can remember when someone reminds you or someone else’s case pops up and ask guidance, you could remember like a muscle memory 🙂 I am not disappointed to have such experiences, but I am unhappy to spend my energy, focus and most importantly donate my life for such thing. At the end what you got was the payment of all those sacrifices, shows it was not a donation, was selling life for money. Remind me what was the profession?
How I feel because of this Erim topic, they are family, and people are together and caring each others and I am not in same shape. I have daughter, she is young, just 9 years old, and I do not have any other family members. Brother is living in İzmir and not close to each others, nephews are having theşr own life, even I cannot say we are part of same family. In case of some issue, have no one to take care except Eda, she has her responsibilities, and will not be fair to expect more from her. All others are my employees, cannot put more if you run out of money. In total, I have enough for the rest of my life, cover my daughter’s academic life, but I cannot cover family thing. I am clearly saying “Tovbe, buyuk konustum, Allah’a şirk koştum veya gücüne gitti sözlerim veya yetmemiş gibi aç gözlülük ettim… belli ki, Tovbe Tovbe Tovbe” the reason why I choosing such confession, becasue of my words and feelings while I was summarizing my dream life, I said, I wish to have a life at my place, laugh-voices, voice of jokes and bold feeling life of going on in my house…..normally I had it, in any way, my family would be aways but at least I had a family, and I started this family with same wishes, and some point of time I made bad things, broke hearts, personalities. There was a lady gave everything of her’s, and it did not stop me to demolish all for more and better. What was better, I do not know. At the same time, I did another women’s life ruined as well like mine 🙁 Any how, Now I reached to certain pointi managed to pass thru turbulence, bad times, challenges, disasters…Now I am relatively ok, but I must be honest to my self just to be forgiven. Please all, forgive me and just forget all what I did as a selfish and narcissist person. This is one and most important thing for myself. And will have a clear point to decide what to do.
It is raining, like a hell, And Idıl is on the way for drum lesson. Wish to live with her every day/night. Wish to have a family 🙂
Another topic is business and challenges, right now, I am in the middle of challenges of my current responsibility, I know it is the darkest time of the night where I am so close to dawn, and I know we have bunch od depencencies, challenges and would have multiple bad news, thats is very probable, but I know that we, most importantly I can fix it and I can make it work. I personally believe in it and believe in myself, but day-night, it is turning around in my head. I am seeing the list of deals constantly 🙂 now I am repeating again…Eurogida, Vestel1, TabFoods, RaySigorta, Albaraka, Intertech….have many others, Kaltun is going to have a some other steps….But I know that we will have more to come and once we make mature enough, then close. Anyhow, I will make people focus on shortterm deals, and close them all, and paralel to this, continue adding new deals (HannoferFair, Atasun, Sabanci, Temizmama, TurkTraktor, Yargici, MayTohum, MSBU etc.). But at the end, it is making me stress because of responsibility to Evren-Erhan-Hakan, I gave them a promise and I do not want to make them abandoned. This is the second topic, making me very stressed.
Last one is all about financials and people’s raw behavior. İlhami is making me sick because I feel I was abused by him, cleaning lady and all others who worked for me. This is the topic, I must put empathy aside, and behave like a professional. Ali is same profile. He is stupid and real example of this famous sentence: “I can live with stupid people but I cant stand who proud of it”. He is easily mixing “common sense” attitude and ignorant-village boy behavior. Making me sick 🙂 And same with all others. Ignorance is bliss! Can talk with a full confidence 🙂
I have invest a lot to Tesvikiye ve startup 🙂 think, just to balance passive incomes, and now, I see some balance for the future. But Eda is someone totally different, and do not know what saving and budget management is. Like a 12 years old girl. Happy with her plans was OK, unhappy if those are postponed. This is not manageable. But I need to change my way, and I did it my way, and ignore her for such cases. This skiing thing is going to be last move. Any how, idil’s school tuition, less reserve money after investments, two months lost for renting this place are challenging topics. İzmir house and isparta land must be sold and I need to have at least 200-250K USD reserve in bank account but now I have only 45-50K USD. And instead of having things such as Antique cars, we need to sell them all, reality,turn in to a cash. Bu senaryoda kafam rahat edecektir.
Muzaffer bey ile konusacagim onumuzdeki hafta ki burada nasil ilerleyecegim, ne yapmam gerekiyor, nerde neyi degistireyim bakmam gerekiyor. Bu biraz da icimi rahatlatma ve tekrar enerji toplama konusu. Yapmam gereken icin, veya yapmakta oldugum icin veya yapacaklarim icin kapı aralayacagim. Bİr balangic noktasi olacak bu. Belki MKG yapmam gerek burada. O da aklimda. Cunku tum denilenleri gerceklestrmis gibiyim. Gorecegiz nasil olacak nasil ilerleyecek. Simdi orjinal planda numaralar 694 (94-260-100-180-60) gibi iken, bu aslinda baska bir noktaya goturuyor resmi. Bunun devaminda, farkli bir seviyeye gidecegim gibi. Bunu da Muzaffer ile modelleyecegim. Allah yolumu acik etsin ve kolaylıklar versin. Cocuguma, coluguma, beden sagligi akil sagligi versin, islerimde basari versin, guc kuvvet, dusersem ayaga kalkma gucu versin, kudretim olsun, basaralim ve gecelim. Her zaman olan dua!
Bakalim Agustos 2026 da ne noktada ve ne dusunuyor olacagiz.
Sevgi selam yol acikligi 🙂
Alper-Tuzla 7 Subat 2026 (Yanimda topkek yatiyor, kis bahcesindeyim,kizim derse gitti, yagmur durur gibi, hava da aydınlanir gibi…arkada elektrikli sominenin duzenli ugultusu ve ensemde de yukardaki isiticinin (Kumtel) hafif isisi!)